I was in the middle of bed time ritual's. I had just finished with Ashley and checked off: Story, Prayer, Prayer Song, laying down for 1 minute, then 1 very last minute. Up next was Elizabeth.
Same routine...or suppose to be.
I was snuggling down with Elizabeth to begin reading the story. Before I could begin, Elizabeth asked me why my last name wasn't the same as Grandmomma's and Granddaddy's anymore. I thought..."this will be easy." I explained that "traditionally" when a man and a woman get married, the woman will drop her middle name. Then her last name becomes her middle name and she takes her husbands last name for her own. Simple.
TEARS! erupted from this child like a 1000 year old volcano erupting for the very first time!!!!!! When you read the next little bit spoken by Elizabeth, you will need to use your best sobbing from the depths of your sole.......
Elizabeth: "I'M NEVER GETTING MARRRRIIIIEEEEDDDDDDD!"
Me: "That's ok honey, you don't have too."
Elizabeth: "I'M NEVER GOING TO COLLEGE!"
Me: "That's ok honey, you don't have to."
Elizabeth: "I"M LIVING HERE FOREVVVVVVVVER!"
Me: "That is fine, you can. But you will have to get a job."
Me: " You can get a job in Shallotte." (Town near us)
Elizabeth: "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I will get a job at Ocean Isle Beach! It's closerrrrrrrr!"
Me: "That will be fine."
Now, all was well with the world again!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Super Soft!
Shopping in Wal-Mart is always exciting if you happen to be with Ashley. Ashley is a very social 3 year old. This is how it all went down.
The girls and I are on the stationary aisle when an elderly man in one of those scooters Wal-Mart has, turned onto the same aisle. He catches Ashley's eye and of course she walks over and gives him a "once over". She gets closer and leans over to his leg (he has shorts on) and begins to run her hand up and down over his bare thigh repeatedly and says "You've got some Super Soft legs Mister!" He looked at me and I at him and he grins and said "That just made my trip worth while!"
We are going back to Wal-Mart soon......I wonder who she will feel up then? It may be you! LOL!
The girls and I are on the stationary aisle when an elderly man in one of those scooters Wal-Mart has, turned onto the same aisle. He catches Ashley's eye and of course she walks over and gives him a "once over". She gets closer and leans over to his leg (he has shorts on) and begins to run her hand up and down over his bare thigh repeatedly and says "You've got some Super Soft legs Mister!" He looked at me and I at him and he grins and said "That just made my trip worth while!"
We are going back to Wal-Mart soon......I wonder who she will feel up then? It may be you! LOL!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Hey, You a Vet?
I have been trying to teach my children (6 and 3) about veterans. They have gotten pretty good about recognizing the Veteran's hats worn primarily by our retired servicemen. When my children see such a hat being worn they approach the gentleman and say "Excuse me Sir, are you a Veteran?" More times than not I have to interpret for them. When the gentleman answers yes, the girls are to say "Thank You".
One day my youngest and I were in Wal-Mart trying to pull the country out of the recession single handily. As we were about to leave a heavy rain storm begun. So, along with about 30 people we hung out in the lobby area waiting. This is when my baby walks over to a gentleman wearing a Vietnam hat. In her most grown up voice and hand on her cocked hip, says "Hey,... you a Vet?" Now, if the clouds had opened at this time I would have gladly been ready to go. The gentleman, like the others, had been caught off guard and needed me to translate. He smiled down at my sweet baby and said "Yes, little girl, I am". She straighten up and gave him her best Pro Football pat on the rear and said....get ready...."Good Job!" I honestly believe that man cherished that above any medals he may have ever earned in his military career. That made his day, I am positive...and mine too.
One day my youngest and I were in Wal-Mart trying to pull the country out of the recession single handily. As we were about to leave a heavy rain storm begun. So, along with about 30 people we hung out in the lobby area waiting. This is when my baby walks over to a gentleman wearing a Vietnam hat. In her most grown up voice and hand on her cocked hip, says "Hey,... you a Vet?" Now, if the clouds had opened at this time I would have gladly been ready to go. The gentleman, like the others, had been caught off guard and needed me to translate. He smiled down at my sweet baby and said "Yes, little girl, I am". She straighten up and gave him her best Pro Football pat on the rear and said....get ready...."Good Job!" I honestly believe that man cherished that above any medals he may have ever earned in his military career. That made his day, I am positive...and mine too.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Oh! Yes she did!
So,...The other morning I was trying to dress my dear sweet 2 year old for Preschool. The night before we had picked out what she would be wearing and were both in full agreement. Imagine my surprise when she "fell out" and had a catogory 4 tantrum. Crying, screaming, kicking, and some indication of, yes, possible vomit. Finally, after remembering the wise words of several Mommy friends "Pick you battles"...I did. I asked her what would she like to wear. She pointed at something that was not nearly as cute as the first outfit, but I pulled it off of the hanger and proceeded to dress my heart broken child....when she started laughing. Laughing...not giggling. Since I was eye level, I pulled her to me and asked my dear child why she was laughing. She looked dead at me and replied...."Because, I win." Oh! Yes she did!"
So much for picking your battles.....It's on!
So much for picking your battles.....It's on!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Adventures in Mothering 4
First, I will begin by quoting my friend Anne...."I feel so pretty". It has been an interesting day...which began rather early. I didn't know 5am came around twice in one day! Shockingly it does....but it seems that I vaguely remember now that it does...it's been a couple of years since I had a newborn.....and as much as I love my girls....I won't have another!
Getting back to 5am.... this is a time of day/night (you decide) that is to early for cleaning up ______ anyone? You win the prize! VOMIT! YES! the adventure continues!!!!!!!!!!!
Amazingly, I am still able to get the eldest child ready and find her a ride to school...for there is no way I am putting the puker in the "Up Chuck Wagon" again because it is clean and smells good again. So with child 1 gone, my full attention returns to child 2 and the laundry...for she has puked on everything in sight! It baffles me how one little sip of water and produce so much vomit!
Finally the 8am hour arrives and without a second past the hour I have already dialed the Doctors office. Voicemail! What kind of outfit is this! I try again! Voicemail! What!?! Okay, third time's a charm. Bingo! I jump at the first available appt. 10:10am! Then I tremble....the puker has to be transported there...in my beautiful much liked (I have learned not to "love" a car...bad things happen to them) Station Wagon. So, I layer the back of the car in beach towels! I wait for time to leave and Child 2 ...vomits.
We load up and poor child 2 is begging me for water. She is pitiful. I cave, against my better judgement and give her a sippy cup of water which she chugs like a Frat Boy on nickel draft night. I am about 3 miles from the house when I test my anti-lock brakes and pull off the road like I am driving a Sherman Tank. This is starting to feel strangely familiar (see Adventure 3). I get the bowl (Tupperware is great!) and Child 2 let's her rip! When that challenge is completed we set off again for the Holy Grail (Doctors office).
We are doing fine and making good time until we hit the short cut. The short cut is short in distance...apparently not time. In fact it is actually a time warp. It transports you back to the time when people drove the speed limit and farm tractors were considered transportation. As I pull up behind Jed Clampet and pretty much came to a screeching halt, I wondered why people pull out in front of other vehicles that are obviously speeding AND THERE IS NO ONE BEHIND THEM!!!!!! Finally I made it to a major highway and blew the dungarees off of good ole' Jed.
The Doctors appointment was none eventful. We left with two prescriptions and I was happy.
Back on the plantation, the drugs were administered. It took a while for the med's to kick in but the main point is...they did. Life was getting better, laundry was being done, floors were being mopped. Then Child 1 comes home and........vomit! Everywhere! and so it begins...again. Calgon! Take me away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Getting back to 5am.... this is a time of day/night (you decide) that is to early for cleaning up ______ anyone? You win the prize! VOMIT! YES! the adventure continues!!!!!!!!!!!
Amazingly, I am still able to get the eldest child ready and find her a ride to school...for there is no way I am putting the puker in the "Up Chuck Wagon" again because it is clean and smells good again. So with child 1 gone, my full attention returns to child 2 and the laundry...for she has puked on everything in sight! It baffles me how one little sip of water and produce so much vomit!
Finally the 8am hour arrives and without a second past the hour I have already dialed the Doctors office. Voicemail! What kind of outfit is this! I try again! Voicemail! What!?! Okay, third time's a charm. Bingo! I jump at the first available appt. 10:10am! Then I tremble....the puker has to be transported there...in my beautiful much liked (I have learned not to "love" a car...bad things happen to them) Station Wagon. So, I layer the back of the car in beach towels! I wait for time to leave and Child 2 ...vomits.
We load up and poor child 2 is begging me for water. She is pitiful. I cave, against my better judgement and give her a sippy cup of water which she chugs like a Frat Boy on nickel draft night. I am about 3 miles from the house when I test my anti-lock brakes and pull off the road like I am driving a Sherman Tank. This is starting to feel strangely familiar (see Adventure 3). I get the bowl (Tupperware is great!) and Child 2 let's her rip! When that challenge is completed we set off again for the Holy Grail (Doctors office).
We are doing fine and making good time until we hit the short cut. The short cut is short in distance...apparently not time. In fact it is actually a time warp. It transports you back to the time when people drove the speed limit and farm tractors were considered transportation. As I pull up behind Jed Clampet and pretty much came to a screeching halt, I wondered why people pull out in front of other vehicles that are obviously speeding AND THERE IS NO ONE BEHIND THEM!!!!!! Finally I made it to a major highway and blew the dungarees off of good ole' Jed.
The Doctors appointment was none eventful. We left with two prescriptions and I was happy.
Back on the plantation, the drugs were administered. It took a while for the med's to kick in but the main point is...they did. Life was getting better, laundry was being done, floors were being mopped. Then Child 1 comes home and........vomit! Everywhere! and so it begins...again. Calgon! Take me away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Adventures in Mothering 3 Oct 2008
It took me a while to get to the point where I could write about this...here is how the story unfolded.
It was a normal day. Took girls to school. Nothing unusual. Picked Ashley up from preschool at 12pm. Ashley had a Doctors appointment at 12:30 in Little River, SC. Since there was no time to sit down and eat lunch we did a drive by at the Golden Arches. So far so good.
As we were driving through the middle of Little River...Ashley started choking on a nugget. I pulled a "professional stunt drivers only" move and pulled off the road. Jumped out and proceeded with a swift finger sweep. When the obstruction was cleared...all hell broke loose. Ashley proceed to fill my hands with.....you guessed it! Vomit. As I am standing on the side of a busy road with vomit in my hands, I feel an amazing amount of happiness because I managed to contain it all. Just as quickly as the warm fuzzies came... they went. As I was disposing the fertilizer..or grass killer... not sure which, onto the ground it happened again!!!! But this time with gusto! My hands cupped and ready was overflowing before I could blink my eyes! Vomit everywhere! On my precious little puker! In her car seat! In the floor! And so much of it! I finally just gave into despair. At this point I feel so pretty and I give a beauty queen wave to the rubber neckers passing by. Then I remembered the roll of paper towels in the back of my wagon! I managed to open the hatch and grabbed a plastic grocery bag. Now, I will pause and reflect on the last time Dereck (my dear husband) fussed about all the "junk" I keep in my car.... Ladies, this is one request we can ignore from our husbands...our junk can come in handy. Hmp! Anyway, I cleaned up most of it and took my poor puker out of the car and stripped her down....What is it about her stripping in Myrtle Beach???? Better now, rather than later I say!
On the bright side, I did think to take an extra set of clothes for Ashley. But, I
couldn't put them on her until I washed her off. I put her in her sister's booster seat wiped the remaining puke off of me and continued the .03 miles to the Doctors office.
We get out of the car. Me dressed in my Belk attire and my pukey baby in a diaper. I'm sure we were a sight. We walk into the buildings main lobby and there sits a big ole' Sista on her cell phone. She gets one look at my poor baby and to the other person on the phone "Eeeeew Chiiillldddd! You ssshould see dis Juice-cy Baaaby" LORD Child! This Ba-by is Juice-cy! Come here ba-be an let me suck on your juice -cy thigh, Lord! This is the Juicyist child I ever did see"!!!!!! At this point, I have all but picked my baby up and run into the Doctors office before this lady got out her wet wipe from KFC!
The rest of the visit was quiet normal, thank goodness and we made it home without incident inside my pukey station wagon....which now I refer to as the Up-Chuck Wagon.
Stay tuned in for more Adventures from! Tada! "And they let me take them Home!?!" now available in surround sound!
It was a normal day. Took girls to school. Nothing unusual. Picked Ashley up from preschool at 12pm. Ashley had a Doctors appointment at 12:30 in Little River, SC. Since there was no time to sit down and eat lunch we did a drive by at the Golden Arches. So far so good.
As we were driving through the middle of Little River...Ashley started choking on a nugget. I pulled a "professional stunt drivers only" move and pulled off the road. Jumped out and proceeded with a swift finger sweep. When the obstruction was cleared...all hell broke loose. Ashley proceed to fill my hands with.....you guessed it! Vomit. As I am standing on the side of a busy road with vomit in my hands, I feel an amazing amount of happiness because I managed to contain it all. Just as quickly as the warm fuzzies came... they went. As I was disposing the fertilizer..or grass killer... not sure which, onto the ground it happened again!!!! But this time with gusto! My hands cupped and ready was overflowing before I could blink my eyes! Vomit everywhere! On my precious little puker! In her car seat! In the floor! And so much of it! I finally just gave into despair. At this point I feel so pretty and I give a beauty queen wave to the rubber neckers passing by. Then I remembered the roll of paper towels in the back of my wagon! I managed to open the hatch and grabbed a plastic grocery bag. Now, I will pause and reflect on the last time Dereck (my dear husband) fussed about all the "junk" I keep in my car.... Ladies, this is one request we can ignore from our husbands...our junk can come in handy. Hmp! Anyway, I cleaned up most of it and took my poor puker out of the car and stripped her down....What is it about her stripping in Myrtle Beach???? Better now, rather than later I say!
On the bright side, I did think to take an extra set of clothes for Ashley. But, I
couldn't put them on her until I washed her off. I put her in her sister's booster seat wiped the remaining puke off of me and continued the .03 miles to the Doctors office.
We get out of the car. Me dressed in my Belk attire and my pukey baby in a diaper. I'm sure we were a sight. We walk into the buildings main lobby and there sits a big ole' Sista on her cell phone. She gets one look at my poor baby and to the other person on the phone "Eeeeew Chiiillldddd! You ssshould see dis Juice-cy Baaaby" LORD Child! This Ba-by is Juice-cy! Come here ba-be an let me suck on your juice -cy thigh, Lord! This is the Juicyist child I ever did see"!!!!!! At this point, I have all but picked my baby up and run into the Doctors office before this lady got out her wet wipe from KFC!
The rest of the visit was quiet normal, thank goodness and we made it home without incident inside my pukey station wagon....which now I refer to as the Up-Chuck Wagon.
Stay tuned in for more Adventures from! Tada! "And they let me take them Home!?!" now available in surround sound!
Adventures in Mothering 2 Aug 2008
I was just in North Myrtle Beach with Elizabeth and Ashley enjoying lunch (the kids got to eat for free compliments of our Ped) Elizabeth had her 5 year appointment today. One shot...screamed like they where cutting her pinky finger off! She's okay now. So, we are at Chick-Fila and.......Ashley starts chewing on an apple with the peeling on it. Spits it out...says "yucky" then manages to start puking like a frat boy on a 3 day binge! All I could do as I was holding both my hands catching vomit (a lot of vomit) was yell "I need a Mommy" !!!!!!!!! One appeared from nowhere and helped me and Ashley! What an angel!
So after Vomit Fest III, I took Ashley's dress off and put it in a paper bag. We were all heading to the door to leave (Ashley is in her pull-up) and starts shaking her behind as we pass the construction workers. I heard one say that "They" were training them early for the Doll House these days! I kept my mouth shut and left!
We always have a story to tell when we go out! Also, let this be a learning lesson....always have an extra set of clothes when more than 30 minutes from home!
The Adventure continues......
So after Vomit Fest III, I took Ashley's dress off and put it in a paper bag. We were all heading to the door to leave (Ashley is in her pull-up) and starts shaking her behind as we pass the construction workers. I heard one say that "They" were training them early for the Doll House these days! I kept my mouth shut and left!
We always have a story to tell when we go out! Also, let this be a learning lesson....always have an extra set of clothes when more than 30 minutes from home!
The Adventure continues......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
