It took me a while to get to the point where I could write about this...here is how the story unfolded.
It was a normal day. Took girls to school. Nothing unusual. Picked Ashley up from preschool at 12pm. Ashley had a Doctors appointment at 12:30 in Little River, SC. Since there was no time to sit down and eat lunch we did a drive by at the Golden Arches. So far so good.
As we were driving through the middle of Little River...Ashley started choking on a nugget. I pulled a "professional stunt drivers only" move and pulled off the road. Jumped out and proceeded with a swift finger sweep. When the obstruction was cleared...all hell broke loose. Ashley proceed to fill my hands with.....you guessed it! Vomit. As I am standing on the side of a busy road with vomit in my hands, I feel an amazing amount of happiness because I managed to contain it all. Just as quickly as the warm fuzzies came... they went. As I was disposing the fertilizer..or grass killer... not sure which, onto the ground it happened again!!!! But this time with gusto! My hands cupped and ready was overflowing before I could blink my eyes! Vomit everywhere! On my precious little puker! In her car seat! In the floor! And so much of it! I finally just gave into despair. At this point I feel so pretty and I give a beauty queen wave to the rubber neckers passing by. Then I remembered the roll of paper towels in the back of my wagon! I managed to open the hatch and grabbed a plastic grocery bag. Now, I will pause and reflect on the last time Dereck (my dear husband) fussed about all the "junk" I keep in my car.... Ladies, this is one request we can ignore from our husbands...our junk can come in handy. Hmp! Anyway, I cleaned up most of it and took my poor puker out of the car and stripped her down....What is it about her stripping in Myrtle Beach???? Better now, rather than later I say!
On the bright side, I did think to take an extra set of clothes for Ashley. But, I
couldn't put them on her until I washed her off. I put her in her sister's booster seat wiped the remaining puke off of me and continued the .03 miles to the Doctors office.
We get out of the car. Me dressed in my Belk attire and my pukey baby in a diaper. I'm sure we were a sight. We walk into the buildings main lobby and there sits a big ole' Sista on her cell phone. She gets one look at my poor baby and to the other person on the phone "Eeeeew Chiiillldddd! You ssshould see dis Juice-cy Baaaby" LORD Child! This Ba-by is Juice-cy! Come here ba-be an let me suck on your juice -cy thigh, Lord! This is the Juicyist child I ever did see"!!!!!! At this point, I have all but picked my baby up and run into the Doctors office before this lady got out her wet wipe from KFC!
The rest of the visit was quiet normal, thank goodness and we made it home without incident inside my pukey station wagon....which now I refer to as the Up-Chuck Wagon.
Stay tuned in for more Adventures from! Tada! "And they let me take them Home!?!" now available in surround sound!
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